30 June 2011

minor misgivings

Here I am, stress eating a watermelon.

After making my incredibly public announcement the other night, I laid awake in bed in a complete panic. Moving to New York is no longer a fantasy whispered over great distances between my sister and I - it's a reality now, and as soon as I said it out loud I started to have my doubts. Do I really want to lose my beautiful apartment? Won't I go crazy without having my own space? When will I ever get to be alone!?* Am I going to regret leaving all of my wonderful friends? And my family? What will I do without my beloved Gramma!?

All of these things are very real and very valid questions to be asking myself. However important all of them are to me, I know that I cannot and should not let them keep me here. I love my family and friends more than anything - but they will forever be close to my heart no matter where I am. I should also remind myself of the handful of friends, including my sister, that are already abiding in the big city. I won't be isolated or lonely, and that is certainly a great comfort.

All doubts aside, this will be an adventure that I am excited to embark on. The unknown of what's ahead makes my heart quicken. Thank you to all of you for your sweet and encouraging words! I am so looking forward to the possibility of the new friendships that could blossom from this little spot on the internet.

*I paused for a moment after fretting over this one in particular and puffed up with pride, for this concern came to me so naturally and quickly. Certainly not something that would have crossed my mind, or that I would have valued so deeply many months ago. I sure hope this new quality/ability cannot be lost! I've worked so hard to acquire it.


On a completely unrelated note...
He did it!


  1. I hope you ate that entire watermelon in one sitting.  I have been wanting one so badly from the coop but it is too difficult to bring home on my bike.  I just might attempt it next week.

    So exciting for Bryan!

  2. There are worse things you could be stress eating than watermelon :)
    I completely understand all your thoughts on leaving everything and everyone behind if/ when you move. I'm sure anyone who contemplates moving that far away has all those thoughts. I actually felt really bad just for going to NY for the summer because I have a 92-year-old grandmother at home. but carpe diem  - who knows if the chance to go will ever come again. And one day when we're old and grey we'll probably only regret the things we never did.

  3. also I know I'm way off topic here.. but I remember you finding fairly cheap airfare from the westcoast til NYC. I would greatly appreciate any tips on which websites might be good, as i'm not familiar with the american sites. I'm trying to squeeze in a long weekend visit to my sister to who is traveling in CA while i'm  in NY :)

  4. Ooh, how nice! I hope that works out. 

    I often use Kayak(http://www.kayak.com/) to help search & narrow things down to the cheaper airlines. Last time I booked through Orbitz (http://www.orbitz.com/). You could also try Virgin (http://www.virginamerica.com/) and Jet Blue (http://jetblue.com/).

  5. Thank you so much! I will check those out. have a happy 4th :)